Friday, June 1, 2012

Sometimes you gather information in life that you think may come in handy to others.  With that spirit of sharing in mind, here is a simple list I have compiled of places you might want to check, should a child sleeping on the top bunk of a shared room lean his/her head over the safety rail and projectile vomit:

1. the wood floor
2. the area rug
3. the ladder leading to the upper bunk
4. the sheets on the lower bunk
5. the child in the lower bunk
6. the roof of the dollhouse
7. the goldfish bowl
8. any walls in any way adjacent to the beds
9. artwork hung on said walls
10. the feet of the child who wanders in after being shuffled out, to ask if everything is clean yet
11. the tiny speaker holes of the sound machine
12. the underside of the ladder mentioned above
13. your own hair, having brushed against the underside of ladder, upon discovering the sound machine
14. Your shirt, having brushed against the wall, when you recoiled at the sight of the underside of the ladder
15. all of your clothes and exposed skin, as you slowly realize the true extent of the damage.
16. all the clothes and exposed skin of your spouse after they take over in the second hour

To clean this volume of mess in partial darkness after very little sleep, I recommend using hand towels from the closest bathroom, your spouses old t-shirts (generally found in a bottom drawer), paper towels, soap, water, lysol spray, hand sanitizer, and baby wipes.  Going downstairs to where you keep usual cleaning products is not mandatory.  You may work up to that in the second hour, but initially, stick with what is close, and keep hope that this is not going to take the rest of the night.

Miraculously, there is no need to check the sheets on the upper bunk.  They will be clean as a whistle.


2 comments:

  1. Keira, you are too funny. I recently experienced the projectile vomit -- on my FACE. In the middle if a crowded McDonald's lobby in Florida. Said act was done by my own child, the j goodness, but it was shocking nonetheless.

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  2. Another tale proving that children are just magical...

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